I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You are a booty call, not a friend.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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