well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
