Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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