I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
