I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
