Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
