I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
