break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
