Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
