I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
