Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
