That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
