i just wanna soil my oats bro
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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