Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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