Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
