I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
