But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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