I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
