I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
