My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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