nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
