Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
