He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
