the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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