i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
