I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
