Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
