I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
