Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
