1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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