Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
