You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
