I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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