I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
NoShamevember. You game?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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