Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
don't judge my taste in strippers
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
