I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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