yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
