It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
