You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
