used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
