he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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