You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
