Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
