Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
