I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
