Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
