just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
