I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
