you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
