i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
