do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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