I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dignity is for republicans.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
