Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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