he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
