maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
