do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
